Wings

Why We Wings

What's in your veins? Blood? Psh. Amateur. At Simmzy's, we have hot, saucy wings. Not a typo. Literal chicken wings in our bloodstream. And that's why we love them: it's in our blood.

Our wings are famous, and for a good reason. That reason? Is that they’re good.

To start...
Our chicken is ethically raised by local farmers.

“How local?”
Trust us, it’s close. We can’t count very high, but within a countable amount of miles for sure.

Once in our hands, the fun comes in. They’re cooked until crispy on the outside and tender on the inside. Does this sound like most chicken? Maybe, but ours is objectively better.

“Why?”
It just is.

“Well, then what?”
We’re getting there.

Next, we add spicy and sweet sauce. Not a “spicy sauce” and “sweet sauce” separately. One sauce. That’s one sauce, two flavors. Two flavors, one bird. (The bird is chicken.) Two flavors isn’t enough for us though. We up the ante. Homemade blue cheese dressing. It’s made in our home, dyed blue, and dressed up in a prom gown. The--…One second. Mike has just informed me that my last sentence may be inaccurate. We checked. He’s right. The cheese is a normal color. It’s wearing no clothes, but still from scratch. We think that’s beautiful. All natural blue cheese dressing. You love to see it. You even love to taste it. In fact, we would really advise you look at it less and eat it more.

Here’s where it gets good: the wings are yours. Seriously. We’ve already had four servings today and it’s only noon. These ones are for you. It gets crazier. You dip them in the dressing. Turns out the cheese WAS the prom gown.

How many wings are included? At least two. More than two wings. One for you, and one for a friend. Maybe a lover. Maybe a date. Maybe two for just you — we’re not judging. We get it.

Still not convinced?
Ah, a hard sell. We respect it. You take convincing. We’re convincers. Are we flirting? Back to the wings.

“Why not another food on the menu?”
Those are still an option. Everything on the menu is a good option. But the wings? Oh, baby.

You seem logical. Let’s use logic. It takes 15 minutes. 15 minutes to get you these wings. We even tell you, “Hey, 15 minutes? Yeah, that’s how long the wings will take…but it’s worth it.” It’s so worth it, we put it in the name. Why?

If we were going to serve you bad wings, we’d just call them “Wings.” Seriously. Local pubs do it all the time. But we don’t. We’re honest people. Honest, hard-working people with honest, good-tasting wings. We’re not here to swindle you into a box of chicken. We’re telling you, this is what we do. We make “worth the wait!” chicken wings. And here’s how long it’ll take. One Yelp review even called these wings, and we quote, “EVERYTHANG [sic].” Are you gonna tell her she’s wrong? Are you gonna tell Danielle she’s wrong?

To put it in perspective, reading all of this aloud would take you about 15 minutes (+/- depending on beer consumption). Your wings would be done. So, what are you? A chicken? No? Then order them. Do it, you won’t.

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